A Mother’s Blink

August 14, 2014, I woke up to my 2-year-old son smiling at my face, and I had this strange feeling coming over me. This HUGE, wonderful, magnificent overwhelming feeling of gratitude, and love of motherhood.

I started to think about him and my then soon-to-be 8-year-old daughter, and I started to write this piece in my journal, titled “A Mother’s Blink”.
I waited to share and complete this today for my daughter’s birthday, and it is a coincidence that this weeks Tuesday at Ten prompt word is time, because that’s exactly what this is piece is about. About the fact that time goes by fast for our little ones, and it’s all done within a mother’s blink….

I was holding the positive pregnancy test in my hand…


Then I blinked (a mother’s blink)

Now, I’m nursing a 7lb 9oz baby girl while counting her perfect 10 fingers and 10 toes.

I blink (a mother’s blink)

She crawled! That little army crawl of hers, with her tongue sticking out, dragging her chubby little legs to the floor, and it took 9 months for her to figure that all out

But then, I blinked (a mother’s blink)

Now she smiles with those baby teeth showing, dancing around to the theme song of Mickey Mouse Club House on the Disney channel, “Come inside, it’s fun inside”, she sang. I laugh, smile and…….

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Blink (a mother’s blink)

She’s handing me crafts she made in preschool, of her letters, shapes, and colors. It’s messy of course, but I tell her it’s beautiful, because it’s art only a mother could love.

Now, my eye lids flutter, less than a second. (a mother’s blink)

The car seat’s gone, replaced by a booster seat, and the “big girl” bed has replaced the baby crib/toddler bed. This sign of growth, let’s this mommy know, my girl won’t stay small forever.

Oh, my darling McKenzie, I blink, (that mother’s blink)

And you’re going into your kindergarten class, with your over sized Hello Kitty pink backpack, telling me to put the camera away.

Camera’s down, and I blink (a mother’s blink)

I’m smiling, because she’s holding her newborn brother. Wow, she’s a big sister, with a big heart. She adjusts very easily into her new role, at 5 years old and…..

Brother and Sister

Of course I blink, (the mother’s blink)

And I’m homeschooling McKenzie, yet she’s teaching me. She’s teaching me patience, love, and fractions. lol Yes, fractions, and I’m glad that I can laugh about that today. She’s loosing “baby teeth”, and dreaming of the Tooth Fairy.

Oh, but I get it now, if I blink she grows, she stretches her little wings more, and more, ready to take flight.
If I blink, that mother’s blink, she’ll be running out the door with car keys in hand, and a quick wave of goodbye.

So, now I’m holding my eyes open, afraid to blink, afraid the years will go by like seconds.
Yes, I’m trying to keep them open, and it’s humanly impossible, for this momma not to blink, and humanly impossible for her not to grow.

So I do what I must. I blink, but this time it’s to blink away tears. Tears of realizations. Realizing that letting go is hard, realizing she must grow, realizing that I don’t have control over time, and realizing that it all happens….
In the blink of an eye, a mother’s blink.

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Today is my McKenzie’s 8th birthday. She is my helper, little friend, daughter of God, my sweet precious gift from above, my dark-haired beauty, born on a Saturday morning in 2006, you make this mother’s heart sing thanksgiving to an awesome Creator. This is for you, on your special day. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

 

INTRODUCTION to a Series: A Friend Loves at All Times

In this photo, you see two friends that have loved each other since we were 8 years old.

We’ve been silly little girls on the school yard playground, gossipy critical preteens, and high school hangouts. We went to different colleges, and still our bond remained strong.
She was there for the birth of my first born, and I drove 4 hours on icy roads, to be there at her college graduation. 

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We are polar opposites,
She’s quiet, and I’m loud.
She’s reserve, and I’m outgoing.
She loves to laugh, and I love to make the jokes.

She’s been hurtful, I’ve been judgemental, She’s been selfish, I’ve been unforgiving. Together we’ve been patient, kind and lovingly truthful.

When we were in high school, the Lord put it on my heart, and stated that He put this friendship together, and that He will see it through. I remember sitting down in her bedroom, telling her what the Lord told me. We had no clue how many times, we would have to rely on His promise. His word can’t be broken, He is faithful to what He says, and after 23 years of friendship, I am willing to be used by the Lord, to share my experiences.

I want to share with other women about the good things that can nurture and flourish a friendship, the bad things that can destroy and ruin a friendship and how to grow in depth with a friend.

God cares about friendships, and community is important to Him. All throughout the Bible, we see loyalty, trust, betrayals, and love in a friendships and I want to share my stories.

Proverbs 17:17 states, “A friend loves at ALL times..” but what is love according to God?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us what love is and what love isn’t.

Come join me next week, on the blog at sowingseedsinthem.wordpress.com, in a 3 part series about loving a friend according to the Corinthians love, titled, “How to Be A Loving Friend, at All Times”

PART 1: Love is Patient and Kind: “Dealing with Unmet Expectations, and Overcoming each other’s faults with Kindness.”

PART 2: Love is not Envy, Prideful, Rude, Angry, Selfish, or thinks of Evil: “5 things that can kill a friendship, Gossip, Critical spirit, Jealousy, Selfishness, and Anger”

PART 3: Love Shows Sympathy, Love Forgives, Rejoices in Truth, and Bears all Things: Being a Friend, Even if You aren’t Speaking to Each Other”

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

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Music Mondays, Chains are Meant to be Broken, and Darkness is Made for Light


 Music Monday

“He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,  And broke their chains in pieces. Oh that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!”  Psalm 107:14-15 NKJV

Before writing this post,  I searched the definitions for the words chain and sin in the online Webster’s dictionary. This is what it stated.

Chain-( when used as a verb) something that confines, restrains, or secures.  In addition, this word is often associated with a use for prisoners and slaves.

Sin– an often serious shortcoming; transgression of the law of God.

With those two definitions in mind, imagine yourself in a dark murky dungeon, of solitude for years. A prisoner, awaiting death. The shadows of darkness are so deep, that you might as well have on blindfolds. You long  to see just a sliver of light.

You have been standing, and chain to a steel pole. Your hands, feet and body are completely confine. You strain your ears, to hear for any sign of life, within your space, and there is always nothing.

The air is thick, making it hard to breathe, and when you scream out into the shadows, you are met with a return of echoes.

You desperately want to be free, so you begin to struggle against metal links that are holding you back. You fight and fight, but the chains seem to become tighter and tighter.

The darkness becomes too overwhelming and your breathing is hard.

You give up and after trying with all your fleshly might,  you can’t break free.

You are quickly accepting the facts….

You are a lone prisoner. You are bond in chains. You can barely breathe.  You are in darkness and there is no escape. 

You feel defeated and have surrendered to your conditions. There is no hope. You have become a prisoner to your sins.

Let’s pause for a moment here, as I bring a moment of  understanding to this story.

Sin is real, and the affects of it are very much like this story. It separates us from His light. It causes a shortness of spiritual breathe, killing the soul. Sin, keeps us in chains, bond, confine and slaves to our wrongdoings.

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Now, let’s go back to that imaginary dungeon. You’ve been hanging your head in self pity and sorrow.

You cry out, but this time, it’s from the depths of your heart, seeking for something, someone beyond this world.

To your amazement,  you hear a still small voice calling in the darkness, saying “Here I am, I have come to redeem you”, and all the shadows of the darkness are shattered with His glorious light.

Your chains are being broken, and the sound of metal falling to the floor, are pleasant to your ears. The air is clear, and your lungs are grateful.

YOU. ARE. FREE.

You stand in awe of the One that made your hopeless situation, hopeful. You bow and weep in joy of your new found freedom. Who is this Man of light that came to your rescue, breaking you free?

His name is Jesus.

“For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:2

 REFLECTIONS and UNDERSTANDING: I wanted to give you a visual of what sin does, but better yet, a visual of what our salvation in Jesus does. Sin causes us to stumble in darkness, all while cutting off our life supply to God. When Jesus died on that cross, and poured out His precious blood,  He made a way for us to walk in light, truth, and freedom. He destroyed the sting of death. Sin is very real, and very wrong. In this day, things that God calls evil are good, and good is being called evil. Don’t be deceive, hell is a real eternity, yet God made a way when there was no way for us to be with Him in heaven. That truth, that way and that life is Jesus. “He is the way, the truth and the life.” John 14:6

INVITATION: If you want to be set free, if you are tired of fighting against the chains, I pray that you invite Jesus Christ into your heart this very moment. Turn from sin, and begin the transformation in His love. I am standing in prayer with you. He loves you, He gave it all, to give it all.

Featured song is by Tenth Avenue North, titled “The Stuggle”

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Two Angry Questions, One Bold Loving Answer

“Why do I need, You Lord?”

“What can You do for me?”

 Those were the two questions my heart was crying out to the Lord, in my emotional hurt, disappointment, anger and unmet expectations, on a breezy summer evening, while I was driving home.

God was silent; I didn’t hear anything, just the sound of my broken heart’s cry.

I was feeling defeated, empty, and I was drowning in a sea of emotional turmoil.

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 I asked again, the next day, “Why do I need You?” and “What can You do for me?”

Again, I was met with silence. I became desperate, and begin to demand a response from Him.

This routine, continued for a week. I was practically shouting those questions from the depths of my soul from frustration, and I was repeatedly met with silence.

My unmet expectations of God, and His silence, was causing me to become bitter towards Him, and with life.

 “So there”, I thought to myself, “I am done with Him.”

I was ready to walk this life, doing whatever I wanted according to my feelings. Besides, if He wasn’t going to listen to me, than I was going to abandon Him, and not listen. (How foolish of me, to think, that I can “abandon” God).

It was now the end of that week. I arranged plans with a dear friend to meet at the neighborhood pool, with her two daughters and my then 3 year old daughter (today my daughter is 7).

Although, those two questions were still lingering in my heart, I was still going to attempt to drown them out, by basking in the summer sunshine, the cool water of the pool and time with my daughter and friend.

Once there, at the pool, I was able to have an enjoyable time, and purposely decided to forget about those questions.

Now, there came a time, which we started to play a game and I was tossing all three little girls (with life jackets) up in the air, is when my then, 3 year old daughter became upset.

She became jealous, and only wanted her mommy, to toss her, and according to an upset 3 year old, it wasn’t “fair” that she had to wait her turn to be toss.

She became angry that I didn’t respond to her demand, and decided to get my attention, by getting out of the pool and removing her life preserver vest.

I took a quick dip under and when I came up, from the water, I notice my daughters’ life preserver vest and arm floats, floating in the water, but I didn’t see her.

Panicked, my eyes, searched to the edge of the pool, and there she was about to jump into the 4 feet of water, not knowing how to swim.

We made eye contact and I screamed, a bloodcurdling, “Jesus, NOOOO, don’t jump-“, and before I could finish my statement, I watched in horror as she leaped into the pool, to retrieve her floating devices.

She went underwater and quickly sprang up. No one seemed to notice this happening, but me.

I swam as fast as I could and as she started to go back underneath the pool water, I was able to grab her by the waste and snatch her up, before she sank.

Well, with all this going on, those two “lingering” questions, were the very last thought on my mind.

However, in that very moment, with all the chaos, my heart pounding a million times an hour, and everyone staring, God’s quiet still, voice broke inside the depths of my heart with waves of reassurance.

He answered and said, “That is why you need me, because without Me, you will drown.” ” Don’t you see beloved, I am your life jacket and without Me, you. will. drown.”

He is my safety.

Although my world was spinning, God calmed my soul and boldly answered my heart’s questions in a moment of complete pandemonium.

Needless to say, my daughter was terrified, and received a little “hard” love, when we got home.

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 My daughter’s and I stories parallel each other.

During her moment of frustration and anger with me, she decided to remove her life preserver vest and dive into the water.  She would have drowned, on her own, without my help, the parent. After, I calmed down, I told her, “Never take off your life jacket, while were at the pool.”

Just like my angry little 3 year old daughter, I decided to remove, the only safety net, secured promise in this life, which is Him.

My Father snatched me from the deep waters of myself and saved me. He gently and loving, told me to keep my “Life Jacket”, and not to face the open waters of life without Him.

I wish I could stand and say, “That was the last time I’ve ever doubted and questioned my heavenly Father, because of unmet expectations.”, because it’s not.

I’m being honest. I have been annoyed and frustrated with Him all over again.

However, in those times of emotional valleys, I don’t let that dictate His truths and His promises. I don’t “storm off”, I press in. I press into Him, and sometimes wrestle like Jacob.

He still remains my Rock and washes over my soul with powerful waves of security.

Like in Psalm 18:16 “He reached down on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.”

I am in His everlasting grip. I am SAFE!

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