A Mother’s Blink

August 14, 2014, I woke up to my 2-year-old son smiling at my face, and I had this strange feeling coming over me. This HUGE, wonderful, magnificent overwhelming feeling of gratitude, and love of motherhood.

I started to think about him and my then soon-to-be 8-year-old daughter, and I started to write this piece in my journal, titled “A Mother’s Blink”.
I waited to share and complete this today for my daughter’s birthday, and it is a coincidence that this weeks Tuesday at Ten prompt word is time, because that’s exactly what this is piece is about. About the fact that time goes by fast for our little ones, and it’s all done within a mother’s blink….

I was holding the positive pregnancy test in my hand…


Then I blinked (a mother’s blink)

Now, I’m nursing a 7lb 9oz baby girl while counting her perfect 10 fingers and 10 toes.

I blink (a mother’s blink)

She crawled! That little army crawl of hers, with her tongue sticking out, dragging her chubby little legs to the floor, and it took 9 months for her to figure that all out

But then, I blinked (a mother’s blink)

Now she smiles with those baby teeth showing, dancing around to the theme song of Mickey Mouse Club House on the Disney channel, “Come inside, it’s fun inside”, she sang. I laugh, smile and…….

pinJgbaby

Blink (a mother’s blink)

She’s handing me crafts she made in preschool, of her letters, shapes, and colors. It’s messy of course, but I tell her it’s beautiful, because it’s art only a mother could love.

Now, my eye lids flutter, less than a second. (a mother’s blink)

The car seat’s gone, replaced by a booster seat, and the “big girl” bed has replaced the baby crib/toddler bed. This sign of growth, let’s this mommy know, my girl won’t stay small forever.

Oh, my darling McKenzie, I blink, (that mother’s blink)

And you’re going into your kindergarten class, with your over sized Hello Kitty pink backpack, telling me to put the camera away.

Camera’s down, and I blink (a mother’s blink)

I’m smiling, because she’s holding her newborn brother. Wow, she’s a big sister, with a big heart. She adjusts very easily into her new role, at 5 years old and…..

Brother and Sister

Of course I blink, (the mother’s blink)

And I’m homeschooling McKenzie, yet she’s teaching me. She’s teaching me patience, love, and fractions. lol Yes, fractions, and I’m glad that I can laugh about that today. She’s loosing “baby teeth”, and dreaming of the Tooth Fairy.

Oh, but I get it now, if I blink she grows, she stretches her little wings more, and more, ready to take flight.
If I blink, that mother’s blink, she’ll be running out the door with car keys in hand, and a quick wave of goodbye.

So, now I’m holding my eyes open, afraid to blink, afraid the years will go by like seconds.
Yes, I’m trying to keep them open, and it’s humanly impossible, for this momma not to blink, and humanly impossible for her not to grow.

So I do what I must. I blink, but this time it’s to blink away tears. Tears of realizations. Realizing that letting go is hard, realizing she must grow, realizing that I don’t have control over time, and realizing that it all happens….
In the blink of an eye, a mother’s blink.

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Today is my McKenzie’s 8th birthday. She is my helper, little friend, daughter of God, my sweet precious gift from above, my dark-haired beauty, born on a Saturday morning in 2006, you make this mother’s heart sing thanksgiving to an awesome Creator. This is for you, on your special day. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

 

A Daughter’s Trust in A Crazy Momma

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve homeschooled my daughter for the past 2 years. She will be going back to public school in the fall, and I’ve been soaking up more opportunities this summer in spending time with her. Quality time, without electronics, limiting time with her “friends”, lazy days at the pool, taking nature walks, and having some really in-depth talks. (Oh and UNO, because nothing says quality time like a few good competitive games of UNO.)

Playing UNO with my daughter.

Playing UNO with my daughter.

Yesterday evening, we went on a spontaneous hike after a few thunderstorms we had, and it soon turned into a memorable adventure.  Because we didn’t plan to go hiking, we weren’t prepared with the essentials. We both had on flip flops, no water, no sunscreen or bug repellent, just hearts searching for fun and excitement. Usually my daughter is very apprehensive, but for some reason yesterday, she wanted to keep up with her crazy momma. (me). So we headed down this wet slippery cliff, to get a better view of the sunset and beautiful skies.

Our sunset view

Our sunset view

All of a sudden as I’m helping her down, with one hand holding hers, and the other to a weak branch, she says, “Oh, I have to pee!!!” “I have to pee really really bad.” Well, being a country girl came in handy, because I told her we must make it down this cliff, and then she can go in the woods.

We make it down half tumble/half walk. She does her business, and I’m taking in the beauty of the sunset, and nature…just taking in the awesomeness of God through His creations. She threw rocks, and we both search for things to take pictures of, and she starts to eat a leaf. (don’t worry it’s an edible leaf, she learned about last year from the local rangers).

We were like Thelma and Louise, her and I. It felt great, and I love spending time with her like this.

Soon it starts to get dark and we see a pair of abandon blue plastic gloves down the slope and a little trash, and it appears someone may have been there. Of course our minds race with mystery and fear, so the adrenaline kicks in and we start making our way up a slippery cliff.

Now, that was a challenge, but you know what, we had to work together to make it up there safely.

She had to listen very carefully, because one wrong move would have had us both falling back. She was very anxious, but I saw something in her, I saw determination with a calm exterior. At one point I had to leave from behind her, while she’s holding on to a branch. (I needed to get in front so I could pull her up). This is where it really “hit” me. Why she was able to stay calm, and even allowed me to leave her hanging to a branch, so I could pull her up.

 She TRUSTED me.

She trusted my words, and her actions yield to my instructions. It’s not easy building someones trust, and I’ve spent 7.5 years building it with her. See, I’ve been having a little anxiety over sending my daughter back to school. Anxiety because I can’t control the evil she may be exposed to, anxiety that she may not make the right decisions, and anxiety that she will gravitate to teachings and ideologies that are a contradiction to the word of God.

I believe the Lord used this whole adventure to teach me few things about my daughter,

1.She trusts what I say. Even if it doesn’t feel like she does. Sometimes as parents we think they aren’t listening, but they are and they are also watching. It’s not easy building a foundation set on Christ, and sometimes I wonder if I’m saying or doing the right thing. I love that God set my heart and mind at ease, and gave me a small glimpse of how very much my daughter does in fact trust my words.

2.Her passion will come from Him. As I mention before, my daughter is very apprehensive when trying something that she deems as dangerous and I view as an adventure. I always feel like I’m forcing her to just try new things, and have some passion. Yesterday, she was a different girl. She just threw all caution to the wind, and did “it”. I really just want her so badly to have a passion for God. Not religion and to be this perfect little girl, that says all the right things. No, I want her to be authentic, compassionate, yet unwavering and firm in her knowledge of what the Bible says. So I learn that passion is not something I can teach, either she will have that “spark” and go forth declaring the good news with fire and light or she won’t, and I can’t control that, no one can, but God.

3.I entrust God, with my daughter’s heart. Yet again I learn this lesson. Yes he has given me my daughter to mold and help shape her heart, but ultimately He is in control, and has authority in the heart of my daughter. I have to trust Him, to protect and shield her when she’s not within my sites.

I love that the Lord give us teachable moments, when we least expect it, that He takes delight in spending time with my heart, shaping it, molding it, crafting it all to display His glory.

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PICTURES FROM OUR HIKE

Cobweb we saw

Cobweb we saw

Snail

Snail

Leaf

Leaf