A Mother’s Blink

August 14, 2014, I woke up to my 2-year-old son smiling at my face, and I had this strange feeling coming over me. This HUGE, wonderful, magnificent overwhelming feeling of gratitude, and love of motherhood.

I started to think about him and my then soon-to-be 8-year-old daughter, and I started to write this piece in my journal, titled “A Mother’s Blink”.
I waited to share and complete this today for my daughter’s birthday, and it is a coincidence that this weeks Tuesday at Ten prompt word is time, because that’s exactly what this is piece is about. About the fact that time goes by fast for our little ones, and it’s all done within a mother’s blink….

I was holding the positive pregnancy test in my hand…


Then I blinked (a mother’s blink)

Now, I’m nursing a 7lb 9oz baby girl while counting her perfect 10 fingers and 10 toes.

I blink (a mother’s blink)

She crawled! That little army crawl of hers, with her tongue sticking out, dragging her chubby little legs to the floor, and it took 9 months for her to figure that all out

But then, I blinked (a mother’s blink)

Now she smiles with those baby teeth showing, dancing around to the theme song of Mickey Mouse Club House on the Disney channel, “Come inside, it’s fun inside”, she sang. I laugh, smile and…….

pinJgbaby

Blink (a mother’s blink)

She’s handing me crafts she made in preschool, of her letters, shapes, and colors. It’s messy of course, but I tell her it’s beautiful, because it’s art only a mother could love.

Now, my eye lids flutter, less than a second. (a mother’s blink)

The car seat’s gone, replaced by a booster seat, and the “big girl” bed has replaced the baby crib/toddler bed. This sign of growth, let’s this mommy know, my girl won’t stay small forever.

Oh, my darling McKenzie, I blink, (that mother’s blink)

And you’re going into your kindergarten class, with your over sized Hello Kitty pink backpack, telling me to put the camera away.

Camera’s down, and I blink (a mother’s blink)

I’m smiling, because she’s holding her newborn brother. Wow, she’s a big sister, with a big heart. She adjusts very easily into her new role, at 5 years old and…..

Brother and Sister

Of course I blink, (the mother’s blink)

And I’m homeschooling McKenzie, yet she’s teaching me. She’s teaching me patience, love, and fractions. lol Yes, fractions, and I’m glad that I can laugh about that today. She’s loosing “baby teeth”, and dreaming of the Tooth Fairy.

Oh, but I get it now, if I blink she grows, she stretches her little wings more, and more, ready to take flight.
If I blink, that mother’s blink, she’ll be running out the door with car keys in hand, and a quick wave of goodbye.

So, now I’m holding my eyes open, afraid to blink, afraid the years will go by like seconds.
Yes, I’m trying to keep them open, and it’s humanly impossible, for this momma not to blink, and humanly impossible for her not to grow.

So I do what I must. I blink, but this time it’s to blink away tears. Tears of realizations. Realizing that letting go is hard, realizing she must grow, realizing that I don’t have control over time, and realizing that it all happens….
In the blink of an eye, a mother’s blink.

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Today is my McKenzie’s 8th birthday. She is my helper, little friend, daughter of God, my sweet precious gift from above, my dark-haired beauty, born on a Saturday morning in 2006, you make this mother’s heart sing thanksgiving to an awesome Creator. This is for you, on your special day. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

 

A Daughter’s Trust in A Crazy Momma

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve homeschooled my daughter for the past 2 years. She will be going back to public school in the fall, and I’ve been soaking up more opportunities this summer in spending time with her. Quality time, without electronics, limiting time with her “friends”, lazy days at the pool, taking nature walks, and having some really in-depth talks. (Oh and UNO, because nothing says quality time like a few good competitive games of UNO.)

Playing UNO with my daughter.

Playing UNO with my daughter.

Yesterday evening, we went on a spontaneous hike after a few thunderstorms we had, and it soon turned into a memorable adventure.  Because we didn’t plan to go hiking, we weren’t prepared with the essentials. We both had on flip flops, no water, no sunscreen or bug repellent, just hearts searching for fun and excitement. Usually my daughter is very apprehensive, but for some reason yesterday, she wanted to keep up with her crazy momma. (me). So we headed down this wet slippery cliff, to get a better view of the sunset and beautiful skies.

Our sunset view

Our sunset view

All of a sudden as I’m helping her down, with one hand holding hers, and the other to a weak branch, she says, “Oh, I have to pee!!!” “I have to pee really really bad.” Well, being a country girl came in handy, because I told her we must make it down this cliff, and then she can go in the woods.

We make it down half tumble/half walk. She does her business, and I’m taking in the beauty of the sunset, and nature…just taking in the awesomeness of God through His creations. She threw rocks, and we both search for things to take pictures of, and she starts to eat a leaf. (don’t worry it’s an edible leaf, she learned about last year from the local rangers).

We were like Thelma and Louise, her and I. It felt great, and I love spending time with her like this.

Soon it starts to get dark and we see a pair of abandon blue plastic gloves down the slope and a little trash, and it appears someone may have been there. Of course our minds race with mystery and fear, so the adrenaline kicks in and we start making our way up a slippery cliff.

Now, that was a challenge, but you know what, we had to work together to make it up there safely.

She had to listen very carefully, because one wrong move would have had us both falling back. She was very anxious, but I saw something in her, I saw determination with a calm exterior. At one point I had to leave from behind her, while she’s holding on to a branch. (I needed to get in front so I could pull her up). This is where it really “hit” me. Why she was able to stay calm, and even allowed me to leave her hanging to a branch, so I could pull her up.

 She TRUSTED me.

She trusted my words, and her actions yield to my instructions. It’s not easy building someones trust, and I’ve spent 7.5 years building it with her. See, I’ve been having a little anxiety over sending my daughter back to school. Anxiety because I can’t control the evil she may be exposed to, anxiety that she may not make the right decisions, and anxiety that she will gravitate to teachings and ideologies that are a contradiction to the word of God.

I believe the Lord used this whole adventure to teach me few things about my daughter,

1.She trusts what I say. Even if it doesn’t feel like she does. Sometimes as parents we think they aren’t listening, but they are and they are also watching. It’s not easy building a foundation set on Christ, and sometimes I wonder if I’m saying or doing the right thing. I love that God set my heart and mind at ease, and gave me a small glimpse of how very much my daughter does in fact trust my words.

2.Her passion will come from Him. As I mention before, my daughter is very apprehensive when trying something that she deems as dangerous and I view as an adventure. I always feel like I’m forcing her to just try new things, and have some passion. Yesterday, she was a different girl. She just threw all caution to the wind, and did “it”. I really just want her so badly to have a passion for God. Not religion and to be this perfect little girl, that says all the right things. No, I want her to be authentic, compassionate, yet unwavering and firm in her knowledge of what the Bible says. So I learn that passion is not something I can teach, either she will have that “spark” and go forth declaring the good news with fire and light or she won’t, and I can’t control that, no one can, but God.

3.I entrust God, with my daughter’s heart. Yet again I learn this lesson. Yes he has given me my daughter to mold and help shape her heart, but ultimately He is in control, and has authority in the heart of my daughter. I have to trust Him, to protect and shield her when she’s not within my sites.

I love that the Lord give us teachable moments, when we least expect it, that He takes delight in spending time with my heart, shaping it, molding it, crafting it all to display His glory.

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PICTURES FROM OUR HIKE

Cobweb we saw

Cobweb we saw

Snail

Snail

Leaf

Leaf

Jesus has Tiny Hands and Feet.

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Yesterday evening, while driving home from the store, my 7-year-old daughter notice a man standing with a sign stating, “He’s homeless, and anything would help.”

She asked me if I could give him our food that we just purchased. I immediately told her no, and explained to her, that what I purchased, will be eaten between her, her little brother and myself.

She pleaded with me and said, “But HE has nothing!!”

Trying to dismiss her, I point and said, “Look, we are almost finished with our food.” Besides, I think to myself, I have my own worries and thoughts, and I don’t need to be bothered.

Her response, “But his sign says, anything would help.”

Suddenly, I was “saved” by the green light, and told her it was just too late, and that we had to continue home.

My daughter, was relentless on this mission to help the homeless guy, and stated she wanted to give him all of her money, and that we have food at our house that he could have.

After parking into our garage, I finally realize, that she wasn’t going to “let it go”, so I tell her, “Fine, just get some snacks and a water bottle for him.”

I started back out of our driveway in the direction we just left, to give snacks to the homeless man.

McKenzie was sitting on the edge of her seat, eager and passionate about this mission she set for herself. We passed him once more and I had to make a U-turn, which honestly only made it a bigger inconvenience for me.

Once there, I greeted the man, and told him that my daughter wanted to make sure he had a snack and water. McKenzie passed me the snacks and water, so that I could hand them over to the vagrant.

I realized that she had given him my water, that I placed in the freezer for myself!

Trying to hide my annoyance, I told the guy through gritted teeth, “It’s nice and cold for you too!”

He gave the biggest toothless smile, and quite graciously said, “That will be very nice, after it melts a little. This will be a nice cold drink for me.”

“Saved” by that green light once again, I drove off to our house again. This time, McKenzie was content and happily eating her food. However, at this point, my annoyance has turned to shame.

When did my heart become so harden? When did making a U-turn with my car, to help someone less fortunate become an “inconvenience”?

If you know the parable of the Good Samaritan, then you will notice the similarities in my story.

The parable is about a guy, who was on his way from Jerusalem to Jericho. He was robbed, beaten and stripped of his clothing. A priest, and a Levite passed the man, and did not help. They were suppose to be a reflection of God’s helping hands. It was until the Samaritan came and cared for the man, and Jesus ends with commanding  His followers to be like the Samaritan. (Luke 10:30-37)

Now, I’ve always prided myself, after reading the Parable of the Good Samaritan, that I would have stopped and helped that beaten man. I would not have been like those two religious guys. Yet, last night I was the priest and the Levite. My daughter was the good Samaritan.

I quickly started to justify the actions of my heart, and reason, that I encourage people through my writing.  I help and offer people car rides. cook for friends and neighbors. I am selfless because I serve my family before myself, each day.

As I reasoned with myself, in an attempt to cover the shame, God met me right there. In His awesome loving way, He showed me where the root of the sin was, and that I needed to confess. Also,  just as eager and passionate as my daughter was to feed the homeless guy, so was Jesus, to forgive my sin.

3 Things I was Reminded of Last Night

  • How easily it is to be consumed with our own thoughts and problems, that we forget to be His hands and feet, in the daily opportunities that He gives to us.
  • I NEVER want to lose that passion, to serve Him, by serving others.
  • Jesus lovingly confronts sin, and quickly offers His forgiveness and I should do the same.

It never ceases to amaze me the lessons, God provides through the heart, hands and feet of children. When He commanded us to be His hands and feet,  He never said what size they had to be.

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Are My Friends Making My Hand Change?

I was in my bedroom relaxing, on a beautiful summer afternoon, when my 7 year-old daughter, walked in and asked, in a serious tone, “Mommy, can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, what’s up?” I stated, as I petted the bed, hinting for her to sit next to me.

“Well, it’s about one of my friends.”

“Okay, what about her?” I replied.

“Well, she is kind of, getting on my nerves. She wants to control everything I do, and sometimes, I don’t want to play with her because she’s bossy.”

I also notice that my daughter was starting to pick up those habits, and become a little “bossy” herself.

The conversation ended, with me suggesting that she focus on the good in her friend and to take a break from seeing her for a couple of days.

Now, a few months later, as I was driving home, I thought about that conversation with my daughter. The Lord, put it on my heart, on how to share with her, the importance of making godly friendships and the effects of that choice.
friendship

 

First, I filled up the bathroom sink with water, and told her to soak, her hand in it for a few minutes.

After about 3-5 minutes, we took her hand out and we couldn’t see much change, other than her hand was wet.

Next, she dipped it back in for a little longer. Every now and then, I would check her hand, until eventually it was wrinkle. (25 minutes).

We went outside in the dark after this, and I told her to grab my Bible and a coat. (We go outside, because this country girl feels closer to God, when I am close to nature).

So, we look at the stars a bit and I tell her, what was on my heart.

I open up to this, 2 Corinthians 6:14 and part of verse 16. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?  And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.
I explain to her, that I pray that she makes wise choices in friendships, and it absolutely matters whom she surrounds herself with.

Just like her hand in the water, it didn’t change right away, but after a while, after being surrounded and having her hand in the water, her hand started to change and look different.

I stated that I will not be able to choose her friends and who she chooses to fellowship with, but I can show her the wisdom in the word of God.

It is not wise to think that you can have bonded relationships with just anyone, without being effected in your heart, way of thinking and attitude. It may not show up right away, but continue in a relationship/friendship with the unbeliever and it will show itself sooner or later.

hands

I try to lead by example and explain, to her that I will not be with her at every step in life

Finally, we ended the night, with verse 10, “finding out what is acceptable to the Lord, and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness…..” I explain, for her to be friendly and kind to everyone, but choose the “fellowships” very carefully.

Now, as she journeys life, with different friendships, she says, she will ask herself, “Is my friend, making my “hand” change?”

May this seed of truth, sprout His fruit and be done for His glory, in her life.

 

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