Gossip: The Trust Breaker

This post is part of a Five Minute Friday linkup.  A one-word prompt is given and we write, freely, for five minutes, then post. This week’s prompt: TELL

We sat there laughing and talking enjoying us a hot cup of coffee.

Bonding over motherhood, and marriage.

We’re still in the stages of learning each other. Right now the friendship is fresh, easy and fun.

Then she starts telling me about her friends. The one of  that has a cheating husband, the one that is promiscuous, and the other that uses her credit card more than she should.

Yet, in her telling me about her friends,  I am getting to know her.

I know I can’t trust her. I know that I can’t confide the deepest parts of my heart to her, and that’s a sad fact because I really like her.

She’s witty, carefree and I see glimpses of a powerful God at work in her, but yet at this stage, at this point she can’t be trusted with my heart, with my secrets, with the conversations that make friendships stand strong.

She’s a gossip. A secret teller. A loose lips kinda gal.

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She tells the secrets that aren’t hers to tell, and spreads them like wildfire, causing pain and destruction to the ones being betrayed. 

I wish I can say that I’ve always been the woman who I am today, the woman who sits and sips her coffee with a tight lip and open heart, but I wasn’t. I use to love nothing more than a good story to gossip about. I took pleasure in knowing a secret, and even more pleasure in telling it to unapproved ears.

It’s the “telling” that breaks down the threads of  love and honor in the fabric of bonds formed in friendships, and womanhood.

It’s the telling that leaves unfinished puzzles of trust in the relationships.

Proverbs 11:13 says,A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (NIV) {stop}

 Reflections:  If you want to be a woman who builds up, that guards the heart of her friends, and a person of honor, then stop gossiping. I still need this as a  reminder because I’m human, and this use to be an area of true weakness for me. Gossip has become the approved sin. The lie, is that it’s not gossip if it’s on the cover of a magazine, or if the person is famous. Don’t be deceived. Gossip hurts deep, and more importantly God tells us not to.

 

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Link up here at Kate Motaug

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INTRODUCTION to a Series: A Friend Loves at All Times

In this photo, you see two friends that have loved each other since we were 8 years old.

We’ve been silly little girls on the school yard playground, gossipy critical preteens, and high school hangouts. We went to different colleges, and still our bond remained strong.
She was there for the birth of my first born, and I drove 4 hours on icy roads, to be there at her college graduation. 

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We are polar opposites,
She’s quiet, and I’m loud.
She’s reserve, and I’m outgoing.
She loves to laugh, and I love to make the jokes.

She’s been hurtful, I’ve been judgemental, She’s been selfish, I’ve been unforgiving. Together we’ve been patient, kind and lovingly truthful.

When we were in high school, the Lord put it on my heart, and stated that He put this friendship together, and that He will see it through. I remember sitting down in her bedroom, telling her what the Lord told me. We had no clue how many times, we would have to rely on His promise. His word can’t be broken, He is faithful to what He says, and after 23 years of friendship, I am willing to be used by the Lord, to share my experiences.

I want to share with other women about the good things that can nurture and flourish a friendship, the bad things that can destroy and ruin a friendship and how to grow in depth with a friend.

God cares about friendships, and community is important to Him. All throughout the Bible, we see loyalty, trust, betrayals, and love in a friendships and I want to share my stories.

Proverbs 17:17 states, “A friend loves at ALL times..” but what is love according to God?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us what love is and what love isn’t.

Come join me next week, on the blog at sowingseedsinthem.wordpress.com, in a 3 part series about loving a friend according to the Corinthians love, titled, “How to Be A Loving Friend, at All Times”

PART 1: Love is Patient and Kind: “Dealing with Unmet Expectations, and Overcoming each other’s faults with Kindness.”

PART 2: Love is not Envy, Prideful, Rude, Angry, Selfish, or thinks of Evil: “5 things that can kill a friendship, Gossip, Critical spirit, Jealousy, Selfishness, and Anger”

PART 3: Love Shows Sympathy, Love Forgives, Rejoices in Truth, and Bears all Things: Being a Friend, Even if You aren’t Speaking to Each Other”

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

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